No Crash Later

Today's installment is a good example of how a simple commercial can belie an unexpectedly complex phenomenon, and how a seemingly simple analysis can get me in way over my head.

Apparently, the TV shows I watch are popular among "energy-deficient" types, because I find myself often viewing this commercial for a product called "5 Hour Energy":



I was going to write about what a poor job this commercial does in illustrating what the product is and what it's for. The problem with energy drinks, I am told, is that they are all sugar and caffeine. This energy drink has no sugar or caffeine! Amazing. Only 8 calories, and amino acids as well. Fantastic, sign me up! Makes me wonder, though, with only 8 calories, exactly where is that 5-hours worth of energy coming from?

The version of the commercial I've been seeing is slightly different. It actually does have caffeine, but only as much as a cup of coffee. That's not much, after all, a cup of coffee is ... well, I suppose it's about as much caffeine you can get in a cup of any beverage. But that's OK, because in this case, they've put it into a 5-ounce shot. And there's no guarana, so that's ... great. I hate guarana. So let's cut to the chase here, commercial. You're selling me a 5-ounce shot of concentrated caffeine. If you just came out and said that from the beginning it would have saved us both a lot of time and effort. Instead, you've wasted your time trying to sell me a product I'll never buy, with a commercial that in no way entices me to buy it.

So that was my observation and I was pleased with myself, another successful job illustrating how ineffective a given commercial can be. Then, in order to finish this project by showing you all the commercial, I entered the mystical parallel universe of pop culture they call YouTube. Once again, I was proved to be the proverbial chump, as I discovered that not only is 5 Hour Energy a product people are purchasing and using, but a phenomenon that has made solid inroads into cyberspace. Of course, now that I've seen what YouTube has to offer, I have a much better sense of what -- and whom -- this product is for.





And now, all of a sudden, I'm interested. I still wouldn't buy it, but at least I understand why I might, and I believe that there are people out there who do. If the 5 Hour Energy marketing team was really on top of things, they would just use these videos as their ad campaign.

But the commercial itself has even been popular enough to warrant a parody. Well, I suppose a parody is what you could call it.



Thus concludes my unexpected adventure into the world of alternative energy drink advertising. I hope you learned something. I know I did. But I'm not exactly sure I feel smarter for it.