The French-maker

This is a particularly exciting entry for us here at Drink Moxie. The reason? I finally get to paraphrase Roddy Piper. That's right, this week, I am here to kick ass and chew gum.

We're not talking about Bubblicious here. We're going to focus on gum with an adult flavor - decidedly adult. And we're going to skip the Doublemint Twins and get right into the juicy stuff. No, not Juicy Fruit. I'm talking about the notion that's always right there in the back, if not the front, of our minds every time we pop a piece of minty chew into our mouths: making out.

Sucking face is a well-worn technique for moving gum. Particularly now, when so much of our economy seems to be directed towards products and services that enhance our reproductive capabilities, marketers seem more than eager to show us how gum might just serve as our bus ticket to Liplock City. But before we explore the modern variations on this theme, let's start where it all began:



(For those of you paying attention, yes that was Peter Billingsley, and you'll probably never be able to think of little Ralphie the same way again.)

Those of you who remember the 80s know that this was a somewhat remarkable ad for its time, even spawning an SNL parody. Comparable ads for comparable products, like Doublemint and Juicy Fruit, were themselves rather lurid and suggestive (all of these brands, of course, are part of the Wrigley company, and to the best of my knowledge all of their commercials were created by the perennial advertising giant BBDO). Big Red, however, was not afraid to show people really going at it. The word "kiss" was even right there at the start of the jingle. Keep in mind that for much of chewing gum's existence, it was intended and marketed primarily as an alternative, or at least a complement, to smoking or chewing tobacco.

Let's look now at what is effectively a more modern version of Big Red - Dentyne Fire - and see how they (with the help of McCann-Erickson's admen) approach the subject (I should note that this is an ad for mints, not gum, but I've seen so many of these commercials that I can hardly tell the difference):



Once again the kiss is front and center - little has changed there. But we notice a very significant difference. In the Big Red spots of the 80s, the makeout artists are assumed to be couples of some sort, married perhaps, or at least people who have some feelings of love towards each other. Dentyne knows that the modern hot-blooded consumer is not interested in this wholesome variety of kissing, but with the prospect of making out with attractive strangers. In the 80s, we were satisfied with the idea that cinnamon gum would make the experience of embracing our loved one more long-lasting and pleasurable. Have we now become naive enough to think that it will help us get to first base with that hot girl or guy in the drugstore without even exchanging a word?

Dentyne also bet that the kiss factor would sell minty gum in much the same way as it sells spicy gum, as evidenced by this spot for Dentyne Ice (by Bates USA):



Different types of people, different type of setting, a few special effects, same idea. I just wanted to show this one because it ups the ante of both cheesiness and shamelessness. It's practically a beer commercial, and frankly, it makes me a little uncomfortable. The idea of a woman who pops a piece of gum into her mouth, latches lips with a man chosen seemingly at random, and in the process freezes his ... well, let's just say it leaves me somewhat alarmed, very confused, and not really interested in picking up a pack of this gum. Maybe the ad is targeted to the ladies, after all.

But that was a bit of a digression, because I want to go back to the spicier side of the Dentyne brand with this commercial, which is surely infamous by now. I believe it was pulled from American airwaves after some time. That may also explain why I can't figure out what agency is responsible for it:



I like this one more than the previous ones. Yes, it's funnier, certainly more attention-grabbing, but I also think it's much more honest. Like that original Big Red commercial, the people who are going at it are actually couples. They aren't even presumed to be couples, they are explicitly identified as such. And here it is acknowledged that necking isn't just for the young folk. Older couples can do it too, even those old enough to have horny teenage kids. While some people might find this extremely edgy, even over the line, I see it as rather grounded and wholesome. As you know, Drink Moxie supports truth in advertising, and while we can hardly believe that chewing gum will give us a shot at sexy strangers, we think it might just facilitate some fooling around with our girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, ... whatever.

Finally, as always, I leave you with the most recent commercial that got me thinking about this topic, and the one that I haven't quite been able to figure out yet. I also haven't been able to figure out what agency is responsible, but I'll keep working on it:



Our friends at Mentos are pretty well known for their offbeat approach to advertising, and at least in the US, seem to have built a brand entirely around its oddly European-looking commercials. Now that they've made the move to gum, they seem to be taking on the kissing approach, which I can't remember them trying previously. Clearly, they have added their own, uh ... flavor to it.

I leave it for you to figure this one out, but here are a few observations of my own. First, they are apparently not afraid to gross people out. The prior kissing commercials, even the ones involving rather gratuitous frenching, were at least designed to titillate and not to nauseate. It's also interesting because it's not particularly clear what is even happening in the commercial. It took a few seconds to settle in before I got the joke. And in some way, I felt like the joke was on me. After being bombarded by spots like the ones I've previously shown, I was well prepared to see a commercial featuring a man popping a piece of gum and then being kissed by a beautiful, anonymous woman without a single word uttered. I have to believe that the Mentos people knew what I was expecting to see, and then led me right into an unexpected punch line, as if they were squirting water into my face as I bent down to sniff a boutonniere. I found myself feeling a little appalled but also a little impressed. But while they earned my respect, I still haven't considered putting down any money for their gum.

And I am, in fact, all out of gum.