A Zillion

In making reference to an arbitrarily large number, many of us (1) have said "a zillion" only to have some smart aleck (2) point out that it isn't a real number (nor is it a complex number, for the analysis nerds reading this). I thought I would try to remedy this by proposing a definition for "a zillion". Obviously there's a problem here, since most arbitrarily large numbers already have names. We'd have to rename one of them, preferably one so arbitrary that people wouldn't care much if the name were changed. I propose:

76,130,427,036,216,227 = a zillion

This means that in lieu of saying "seventy-six quadrillion one hundred thirty trillion four hundred twenty-seven billion thirty-six million two hundred sixteen thousand two hundred twenty-seven" you can just say "a zillion". It also means that if you say "I have a zillion girlfriends" and your friend says "I have seventy-six quadrillion one hundred thirty trillion four hundred twenty-seven billion thirty-six million two hundred sixteen thousand two hundred twenty-eight girlfriends," he's got you beat by one. Sorry.

For ease of accounting, a zillion should still be expressed numerically as 76,130,427,036,216,227. There's no need to make up some silly new symbol for it.

Endnotes (addenda to the second edition):

(1) "Many of us" refers to the head of my research staff and inspiration for this proposal, Lisa, who used the term "a zillion" as the basis for settling an argument that is not worth going into at this time. Also the only known reader of this periodical, so the terminology "many of us" is accurate in substance, if not technically.

(2) "Smart aleck" refers to the author.